stalled

When I was little (no height jokes, please), my family spent a lot of time in the forest on some mountain property my parents own. We’d camp and explore and roast marshmallows and relax in the easy company of people you love and who love you.

I knew the mountain fairly well. At least the parts that I frequented. Whenever I ventured off the beaten path, however, I found myself disoriented…walking in circles…lost.

Can you guess where I’m going with this? If you’ve read any other blog post here from the past year I’m reasonably sure you can.

It has now been about 15 months since my wife moved out.
Children have been conceived and born and loved deeply in that time. Buildings have been constructed and inhabited. Entire life cycles of some creatures have come and gone…and, yet, I feel like I’m still in the larval stages of healing.
Of moving on.
Of finding what comes next.

I’m feeling stalled. Disoriented. Like I’m walking in circles. A little lost.

I know that God is in control. I know that He has allowed some amazing people into my life. I know that everything will be alright.

I just don’t feel it right now. And that hurts.

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