finding my silly

I grew up on a farm.

I remember, in the winter, doing chores outside. It was so cold that the hair inside my nostrils froze. As bundled up as I would try to be, the bitter chill still found its way into my bones.

Coming back inside and standing next to the warmth of the wood stove was the perfect antidote. It was the reassurance that the frigidness of the outside world wasn’t the whole story…that winter would, one day, end and spring would burst forth…that despair was not necessary.

There is a lot going on in my life right now. Some of it is on the surface, and more of it is behind the scenes. I’m being careful about what I share for a number of reasons, but I can’t not share something. When seeds of joy are growing in a hidden place, they inevitably spring out of the ground and grab attention.

I have had several people from different arenas of my life comment in the past couple of months that they have seen a change in me. They say that I remind them of the person I was years ago. That I seem lighter (not just physically, although that’s true as well) and more filled with life. I feel it, too.

God has done some remarkable healing in me. He has carried me through some very hard realities, revealing Himself through the love and encouragement of my family and friends. He has refined me and refocused me to a great degree, reminding me of what is important…what is eternal. He has, truly, done what He promised in Isaiah 61:3…He has given me beauty for ashes, a blessing of joy instead of mourning.

One of the things that such a transformation means in my daily life is that I smile a lot more. I sing a lot more. I laugh and rejoice and encourage others a lot more.

I have moved out of the chill of winter.

I have rediscovered grace and love.

I have found my silly all over again.


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