I praise You that the things that happened in my past, both enjoyable and painful, are raw materials for blessings, both in my life and in the lives of others. – 31 Days of Praise by Ruth Myers
It’s the middle of the night as I write this. I haven’t slept more than about fifteen minutes at a time. My mind is spinning and my heart is full and sleep just doesn’t seem like an option tonight.
Life is like that sometimes. Curveballs and unexpected developments and, even, surprising joys…they catch us when we are looking the other way and send us for a loop. They force us to examine and assess and carry on with a refined perspective.
Tonight, I am hoping that the surprises that have fallen into my lap really will become the raw materials for blessings, as Mrs. Myers suggested in the quote that opened this post. I am hoping that the curveballs amount to something greater than the confusion they are currently producing.
I know beyond a doubt that God uses all things for good. Now, we can both agree, many of those “all things” can be pretty awful and painful and shattering… But He uses them for our eventual good. I have seen that in my marriage and separation and, now, divorce. I have seen that in the lives of my children and my family and my friends. I KNOW it will be the case right now…but I’m not feeling it.
I’m just not feeling it.
What I AM feeling is exhaustion and sadness and confusion and fitful sleep and questions that don’t add up.
Thank God that the world doesn’t rely on my feelings to keep on chugging away.
Thank God that all of the things that happen in my life can be redeemed and used both for His glory and for genuine blessings.
Curveballs kinda stink…but let the blessings come.